"Hey, Bub! I'm driving down the New Orleans freeway right now. I sent you an email.

"I met somebody yesterday at the park, and, uh, I've got to go, uh, fuck her, and, uh, it's going to be great, man. I can't wait for this, man.

"She's making the Mint Julips right now. Cool Southern belle, man. I'm gonna fuckin' just fuck the FUCK out of her man — with my BIG ol' hard dick!

"God damn mother FUCKER!

"Shit, man. Bad traffic here. Sorry about that.

"Anyway, uh, so anyway, the chapter might be late, but there's a stand-in chapter that you might have in your email files, uh, that I mailed you a little while back, uh, a few months ago. It's called Mercy Fuck which is what is was called. It's like a short-short, and it would work real well as stand-in, if you still have it on you, and if you don't, uh, let me know and, uh, I can probably get on this woman's computer and mail it to you. Otherwise, uh, I'll just send it to you tomorrow, and we'll take it from there.

"Talk to you later, man. Bye-bye."

New Call - 4:47 PM

"Hey, uh, dick sucker. Are you home? Guess not. Well, uh, just wanted to touch base. I had another idea.

"Do you still have Everything? That short story I wrote? It's called Everything? That, or Mercy Fuck. You know, the other short story I wrote. I don't know if you could hear me when I called you when I was driving on the freeway and, uh, yelling profanity at, uh, passersby. I mean, it was hard to keep from DRI-ving in his blind spot, but you know, uh, I guess, you know, you might be out of town. If you are, well, I don't know. I'm just hanging out, man, and I'll probably —"

"Literally hanging out."

"Yeah, uh. Hmph. This is, uh, my new friend Simone. Say hi to Damon."

"Hello, Damon. And I must say, Kevin is literally hanging out."

"Yeah, you know she read my crap on the Internet, you know, on your site, and, uh, you know, got in contact with me, and, you know, now we're FUCKING! Ha ha! So!"

"Now we're living it. We're gonna live a better version of his crap though."

"Not gonna, not gonna, you know, DIE like the narrator of Poda or anything. I mean, we're —"

"What did you make those poor people do? They lived in trailer park—"

"They lived in a trailer park . . . Oh yeah —"

"They were unHAPpy!"

"Yeah! The ones in Tulsa . . ."

"It's all about being happy."

"I'm all about being happy, too, man. So, we're not going to fucking you know, you know—"