We all move In and Out of Understanding said the Priest, who was also a Psychologist. And if somehow this Lent Season seems a little different than others, a little more difficult, even, well, that's not just a matter of Chance. Very little is, Truth be told, or whatever Stands for Truth. Even what's going on Right Now, the Pluto Retrograde in the Sky, which can be called the Snidley Whiplash of Astrology, and as well as being a Priest and a Psychologist I, like a Medieval Monk, am also an Astrologer. But look, Just when we think all's calm, a Pluto Retrograde comes along to shake us out of Complacency, pushing back Boundaries and calling us to action. And though it may be painful, great Progress can come during this time of Regeneration.
Though in the same sense (the fellow went on), the Big News today, the 22nd, is the Sun's Transit of Aries, the Implications of which are no more an accident than anything else that God has Joined Together. For Everyone, the Sun's transit of Aries is a time to Accept daunting Challenges. You'll be endowed with a drive and vitality that propels you forward — combined with the Ability to help others make the most of their strengths. A sense of childlike indestructibility will have you taking Risks in all areas of life — whether it's Romance or your career, you're not afraid to try new things and demand what you Deserve. Use this Celestial Influence to move ahead and begin New Endeavors. Know your own strength — both in the sense of how it can crush others and how it can positively Transform your Life.
But okay. Listen, we're all of us, the Stars or not, dealing with the Cracked Vessels of our Pasts. Which, metaphorically speaking (and Goethe said Everything's a Metaphor, which one guesses includes Goethe) is why the Church made Benedict of Nursia, Restorer to Perfection of Cracked Pots, a Saint this month. But there are other Saints.
Boy, do we have a lot to talk about.
The Priest took a deep breath and lit up a Kent. He was saying, look, Nothing is in any way a cocksucking Accident in What God has Joined Together. Me, I smoke, I drink, I curse, I'm a Heretic. I used to go on these long-assed Retreats to Purify my Soul. I've seen lots of miserable people try to do this, that, and stop doing the Other, and they're Miserable, because God is not meant to be YOUR fucking Addiction. Get it? There people want the ultimate kind of homogenized Peace, which means they wanted to be Perfect, which means they want to be God, which is why they Suck. Fuck, if God wanted me "perfect," I'd be Jesus Christ! Who, BTW, wasn't exactly Perfect either, 'cause y'know that verse that says he's felt everything you've ever felt of CAN feel? Well, it also says in there that if you do it in your heart you've so much as done it in the Flesh before God, like Jimmy Carter pointed out to us all so nicely several years back about how he'd committed Adultery in his Heart. But Jesus, Perfect? Shit, boy, what if you once wanted to fuck a Goat? That means HE did TOO and then HE'S no more PERFECT or at PEACE than YOUR hairy ass and he's no better than YOU, see? Which is why the Council of Nicea in 588 removed the Gospel According to Mary and The Gospel of Thomas from the Canon and sent them packing to Nag Hammadi. Seen that movie, Stigmata? It's not perfect, but it'll do, and it's got Gabriel Byrne in it and I like that because, as a Priest, I'm a TOTAL fag, ha ha. Give it up. You're Human. Some big Intelligence is at work in the World, and that Intelligence wants you to Fuck a Goat. This is ORDER, folks, the Teleological Argument. Want to castrate yourself like St. Origen and the other 1st-Century Desert Fathers so you won't feel the Need? Want to turn your Will and you Life over to a Power greater than Yourself because your Life has become Unmanageable? Okay, we'll GO there, then.
See, God is inside us all in one fucked up way or another and I choose to worship the Version that best suits my Purposes, a forgiving God, a God who will really be resurrected because he's never even died, a God like, say, Rasputin! If your dude is Mahler, fine, or if you're into the Goddess shit and its MM, swell, then, but for me, for me, James de Koven, a Priest who Likes it Plain and Blunt, did not Jesus say, "The dead are not alive, and the living will not die. During the days when you ate what is dead, you made it come alive. When you are in the light, what will you do? On the day when you were one, you became two. But when you become two, what will you do?" So, SO, Listen. if God is really God and he makes it up and occur to me that I need to start getting One with Rasputin and God didn't want that, I wouldn't have THOUGHT about it, now would I?
See, motherfuckers, I am not sitting here giving this Sermon, but the Saints thru my Bodily Vessel. I don't want to exclude anybody here, though. I realize that many of you here worship the man who saith to us, "Mamaaaaah, ooh-ooh-ooh-ohh-ooh," and that's fine! May as well be him as St. Augustine or some other human cocksucker. 'Cause do we humans know jack FUCK about Causality? No. And we're pissed. We're pissed because we're afraid of what's gonna happen when some Really Bad Shit comes down and we don't know what to do. But Roedy Green has some interesting ideas on all of this. You really wanna be Perfect? Listen. You're not a Saint, like me, until you come to realize that YOU have a part in things, some way, somehow. In some sense, everything possible, past and future is pre-existing.
There exist all possible worlds, not all conceivable worlds. And I'm not the first Saint to say it, either, despite the Cockshit you heard in College and Seminary. Let's look at this from the point of view of cosmic consciousness. From that view we are all part of one great life. You are kind to some parts of it and exceedingly cruel to other parts, especially the part you call you. Yet from the point of view of cosmic consciousness, you have no special right to do that. You have no right to single out some part of the whole for merciless punishment. That piece you call you is not really yours to torment as you wish. Even though you always really wanted to be a Martyr. You had to be a BEEG shot DIT you? Had to have it all worked out.
So I am going to play a Martyr and represent You. I want each of you participants to talk to me the same way you berate yourself internally when you are thinking about your number one addictive demand on yourself. Is this impractical? Look what a penniless frail old man like Gandhi was able to accomplish by rigorous application of this law. Gandhi said:
To see the universal and all-pervading Spirit Of Truth, face to face, one must be able to love the meanest creation as oneself.
One of the other Corolloraries of this Theory is you are partly responsible when other people do bad things. You chose a part of the Reality where they behaved that way. Perhaps there are some other parts you could have chosen where they were better behaved. Your Beliefs and Expectations influence what you focus on, and hence what you Choose.
Think I'm full of shit? Well, just as I like to take it Plain & Blunt, I like to give it Plain and Blunt. I can Top from the Bottom, as it were. Or vicey-versey. But when it's YOUR ass who's the Other who's doing the Bad Things, and I'm not spouting any Lacanian bullshit here, it is YOU who have to decide which Saint is gonna do you Right today, or which God, and though the names are Different, the God is the same. Today. Yesterday. Tomorrow.
So I'm your Martyr Bitch today, folks. Blessings be to God for Joining us Together.
So have a Drink on Me and Let's get Started.