You just can't Predict the way things'll happen, see, and it Just So Happened that a very pregnant woman named Fran Nubley, 28, was on her 8th Maker's Mark in a bar in Trenton called The Piper's Dawn that afternoon, and her baby was so fucked up he thought he's Missed a Day and that it was Easter, so he started Kicking, and her Bourbon broke, and to the Hospital she was Whisked.

And that's when some Weird Shit started happening. See, even though she'd received an angelic Visitation, Fran just thought it was the Acid, and just lay around her Doublewide waiting for it to Wear Off, wondering who her baby's Father was (since she didn't remember getting Fucked), and planning to name her baby Dave.

But ever since the Quickening she felt in that Bar, drinking and listening to "Walking the Floor Over You" by Ernest Tubb on the Jukebox, she knew something odd was afoot, and the nurses and doctors at the Hospital were so wigged out they wouldn't even let Fran see her Baby, as he seemed to be growing about a Foot an Hour. And within six of them, he had Disappeared.

And in New Westminster, British Columbia, Roedy Green was behind the wheel of a Ford Econoline and putting the pedal to the Floor on the way to get to Trenton, following the Star of some urge which had exploded deep within him, and Champ Garland was on his Way too, as was Jed Palmer, and Eliza Popplewell had stopped Rubbing her Clit long enough to Book a Flight on lowestfares.com, but man, the weirdest thing of all was that the Graves of Roger and Avery and Thomas Ken and even such Luminaries as Oscar Wilde and Gustav Mahler and Jack London and Rabelais seemed to all of a sudden been Robbed! Theirs and lots of other People's, too, and for the Lives of them the Cemetery Workers couldn't understand how this could've happened right under their Noses, and everybody was booting up their Computers that day to check on the Scores and the Stocks and the Porn and there was simply this big Computer Virus message that said, Glory to God in the Highest and people were going Shit! This makes the "It Takes Guts to Say 'Jesus'" Virus look like an isolated shooting in Queens!

— It was like Revelations read Backwards by Alexander Scourby while watching The Wizard of Oz with the sound turned down, Man.

And people in Australia who were Buttfucking in a Time Zone 12 hours ahead of EST while lying on purple satin sheets and listening to "Roundabout" by Yes were coming around and looking at their Partners and saying, like, Who the fuck are you? And some of these people had been Together for twenty years, man. And Roedy was pulling a John the Baptist and he was on a Bullhorn going, I saw the Spirit descending from heaven like a dove, and it abode upon him.

And I knew him not: but he that sent me to baptize with water, the same said unto me, Upon whom thou shalt see the Spirit descending, and remaining on him, the same is he which baptizeth with the Holy Ghost.

And I saw, and bare record that this is the Son of God.

And people thought that Roedy was Crazy, but he didn't care, as it wasn't the First time, and besides, he Knew in his Heart he was Right.

And Roedy had Attracted a Crowd, and he said, "This was he of whom I spake, He that cometh after me is preferred before me: for he was before me. And of his fulness have all we received, and grace for grace."

— And the Darkness moved on the Face of the Waters. Of the Deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the Formless and the Void, and Roedy screamed, Behold the Lamb of God! And God, for Once, said nothing, but All at Once everyone looked up toward the heavens from the Worldly Matrix of all that God Has Joined Together, and they saw . . .